merry killmas

What is with depressing Christmas songs? When you buy the following albums they should include a free extra-large bottle of painkillers and a spiked egg nog chaser because you'll pretty much just want to end it all after listening to these sappy numbers.

"Christmas Shoes" - Newsong

Song Plot: Destitute child's shoeless mom is pretty much dead.

Greatest song moment: When the contemplative little-boy-sung chorus starts, of course. Honorable mention goes to the key change.

"Same Old Lang Syne" - Dan Fogelberg

Song Plot: Guy runs into love of his life who all but admits she married the wrong guy. Drinking and crying ensues from both parties.

Greatest song moment: The end of the song is pure perfection, from the slowed down tempo to the jazzy saxophone solo. Not to mention the very song title is all SEE WHAT I DID THERE I'M CLEVER.

"Santa I'm Right Here" - Toby Keith

Song Plot: Homeless child leaves a note for Santa on the street because he's afraid Santa won't find him otherwise, which was confirmed by his own father.

Greatest song moment: Hard to say... I guess all the sultry country twang moments. And the part where he earnestly begs Santa to give his dad a job as a freaking part-time elf, pretty much.

I do have emotions, by the way, for any of you who are now thinking YOU'RE A HEARTLESS MONSTERRRR. Show me a photo of a baby kitten snuggling a baby bunny snuggling a baby otter and I'm tearing up like a baby.


Meghan December 4, 2010 at 9:27 AM  

What about the one by Rilo Kiley?? "Cry into your Christmas cake, don't know what else to do."

my name is karen. December 4, 2010 at 10:59 AM  

it doesn't count if irony is intended... AND if they are my favorite band.

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